There Goes My Job: My Employer’s In On This, Too!

Predatory  Gangstalking is intended to deprive someone of their freedoms and rights. It destroys a person’s privacy and control of their own environments. It is intended to create distress, disrupt all relationships, deplete person’s resources, destroy one’s physical and mental health, and inflict great overall long term suffering. They interfere with a target’s sleep thereby producing chronic sleep deprivation, as a strategic tactic. They employ a variety of interactions with the targeted individual which are likely to produce accidents and various forms of illness. One of the main weapons they use for their own protection and to enable their success in gangstalking is to manipulate the target’s life in such a way as to cause them to lose their credibility with others. This is usually the first objective reached.

They say with organized stalking, your job is told lies about you and encouraged to have you fired; they say once you’re fired, you’re then blacklisted from ever finding work again. This is in line with the whole smear campaign concept of indirectly murdering someone without having to pull the trigger: destroying their credibility, their image, their support system, their character, and their job. Once you’ve had all that taken away from you – what else do you even have left at that point? You have nothing – which is what the narcissist aims for.

Organized stalking methods were used extensively by communist East Germany’s Stasi (state police) as a means of maintaining political control over its citizens. The Stasi referred to the tactics as “Zersetzung” (German for “decomposition” or “corrosion” – a reference to the intended psychological, social, and financial effects upon the victim). An organized stalking victim is systematically isolated and harassed in a manner intended to cause sustained emotional torment while creating the least-possible amount of evidence of stalking that would be visible to others. The process is sometimes referred to as “no-touch torture.” Methods are specifically chosen for their lack of easily-captured objective evidence.

They say with organized stalking, your job is told lies about you and encouraged to have you fired; they say once you’re fired, you’re then blacklisted from ever finding work again. This is in line with the whole smear campaign concept of indirectly murdering someone without having to pull the trigger: destroying their credibility, their image, their support system, their character, and their job. Once you’ve had all that taken away from you – what else do you even have left at that point? You have nothing – which is what the narcissist aims for.

3 years ago, I’d applied to the my current federal job; I was offered and accepted the position, only somehow they lost my “packet” – they lost all the information on me and had no record at all of offering me the job. This took place after I angered Brandon, not to say that everything in the world is linked back to him. But also it was odd that right after Brandon resurfaced in my life – out of the blue – I got this email from the my current job, as if my job “packet” had never been lost, and it was going through as planned (as of a year before). I didn’t think about it twice – I accepted the offer, and began work in April 2016. My first 2 weeks were rough – I’d just paid off my car, bought 4 new tires and breaks, and while driving into work, someone hit and totaled my vehicle. Nightmare. I’d taken out $1,000 in cash to pay off the rest of my HVAC and my wallet got stolen from home; double nightmare. The only person who could have taken it was a “friend” named Joe (who I later discovered lied about everything and was not a teacher like he swore; he appears to be part of whatever Brandon is involved in but I won’t go there at least not yet); then I became the sickest I think I’ve ever been in my life. It turned out I had caught H Influenzae, which is a huge killer throughout Africa; the woman who’s desk I’d been sitting in during my orientation had become ill with this right before I used her desk. Triple nightmare.

My supervisor questioned my use of leave – I can’t blame him for that, I remember calling my mom when I got sick – my mom’s a teacher, and leave is not something we take lightly – we both lamented how awful it would be for me to use leave yet again. But I had no choice;  I have never been that sick in my entire life. I had documentation of everything for my supervisor, but I got the sense early on he didn’t like me. I forget the surrounding issue, but early on he said he questioned my honesty and said I was

Sketchy.

My orientation was in April and apparently a slow period; I was working with drug applications. The platform we used to do all our work was about to launch a new version, and I was frequently told:

There’s no sense in showing you how to do that now; the platform is about to change.

What wasn’t recognized was that the process behind this wasn’t changing – just the interface. So I failed to learn a lot of processes (the reason why something was done, as opposed to how it technically was completed) that would turn out to be important down the road; not understanding important processes left me blind to the big picture. A day or two after getting off orientation, the new platform was launched, and suddenly I felt completely overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to manage the “dashboard” which is how one tracks their overall workload, all the assignments are listed there and understanding it is crucial to the job. When I mentioned this to my supervisor, he said:

Everyone’s in the same boat with the new platform.

Only they all knew the procedure behind everything – whereas I did not. I wasn’t in the same boat as everyone; I was several boats behind, and so I reached out to him by email:

work1

Right off the bat, I made an early attempt to reach out for help, to try and ensure I was caught up to speed and things wouldn’t get behind just because I didn’t know certain things. My email was completely ignored though.

I also noticed that assignments didn’t seem appropriate. We are typically given a few (maybe 3 or so) new  applications at once. Since I was the new guy and others had their portfolios full already, I was given a lot of applications that were left behind from people moving to other divisions, so they weren’t available to give me report or let me know about current statuses. Then I was assigned over 15 applications in a span of maybe 3 days; it was likely more than 15, closer to 20 actually. I asked my supervisor if he thought this was manageable, and he said it was. Several days later, another colleague who typically assigns these noticed this – and said he wanted to take several back, because it wasn’t manageable. I thought it was odd that my supervisor hadn’t thought twice about this – yet someone else that saw it stepped in to correct it. This happened 2 more times, I felt like I was doggy-paddling; the work was not difficult – but finding a way to manage all these applications that all had the same due dates for various time-points proved a challenge I was getting behind, that I knew, but I was doing the best I could.

My supervisor gave me a head’s up one day about my work being behind:

Alex, you really should go look closely at your assignments. I’m worried you might miss things.

I still didn’t have a solid understanding of how to read the big picture yet; so when I looked over things initially, nothing major jumped out at me. I ended up developing a large inguinal mass thought to be a hernia that September I believe (ultimately it was diagnosed as vascitis – I went to GW, Georgetown and another urologist, and nobody could figure out what it was, they’d never seen it before); but on this particular day, I thought I was going to need surgery for hernia repair. I was going to be out on leave, and it wasn’t until I really started digging through my applications that I realized I was beyond behind – I was about to have several completely miss their deadlines. While my supervisor had given me a head’s up, I was honestly surprised he didn’t take 5 minutes to show me examples and use it as a learning opportunity. That’s exactly what I would have done if I was in his position. I remember wondering to myself,

Does he want to see me fail?

It made no sense why he didn’t point a few examples out, these weren’t easy things to find either; in two instances, reviews hadn’t been done because the individuals who assigned themselves to the role of reviewer had since left the FDA. But in the end – I got everything, I didn’t miss a single deadline, and I felt blessed that I managed to figure it out on my own. But on top of that, it seemed like Brandon would frequently throw me off at work, I can’t say he did this on purpose, but it seemed like he’d wait until 9Am sharp to send me some text to throw me off.

And what makes narcissists so dangerous is that if you discover that they are a narcissist or even expose them as one they go in for the kill. They are not above lying to judges or police officers to ruin your life. Their perfect appearance must be preserved at all costs. They will get you fired from your job. They will do whatever they can to stop the truth from coming out.

He’d always send me some cryptic text or threaten to discard me at 9AM sharp, leaving me worried for the rest of the day. The below is one: I read it and I realize that to most, it’s nothing major – but when you’re with a narcissist, they say and do things (like below) that don’t make sense – and you immediately are triggered into fear that you’ve done something wrong. This is what they do to you – and what they love do – throwing you off to punish confuse you, leaving you all the more dependent on them.

sorry

He later said it was an apology above; I’m not so sure about that, but anyway…

I remember begging him at one point to stop sending me the early AM texts, as they seemed intended to ruin my ability to perform at work. But it was something I sensed, not something I could call him out on; plus one of the reasons he’d given me for returning into my life was to see me succeed at work which, given the way things had ended, doesn’t seem to be an accurate statement. But I didn’t have the ability to see into the future at that time.

After I discovered Brandon hacking into my phone after being with me for two years, and him blaming it on the DEA Task Force that had always seemed to be inexplicably following me whenever the two of us fought, I had a complete nervous breakdown. Feeling betrayed, powerless, hopeless, frightened – these words can’t touch how I felt. It seemed like the ultimate abuse of law enforcement had taken place and instead of someone reaching out to help me – they helped my abuser instead – and made sure to go the extra mile in permanently punishing me for being observant. My life had complete imploded.

It was July 3 2017 when that guy hit me up online and came over.  I ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up – I’d been robbed. I could dial 911 but nothing else worked to call out from my phone – I tried calling T Mobile technical support and that wouldn’t go through either. My computer was suddenly frozen, not a page would load; I had no way to call and cancel my credit cards even. Eventually I borrowed a neighbor’s phone and contacted T Mobile – and surprisingly, someone had (I have no idea how) restricted my calling to “anytime always” minutes, meaning a select few numbers only could be dialed form my phone. How this was done – neither I nor TMobile knew. Making matters even more strange, the 1-800 number for TMobile had been changed to another number, which explained why I couldn’t call them either. This was mind-numbing and seemed beyond invasive; the guy who robbed me put $1000 on my credit cards, although this was reimbursed to me.

Because it was July 4th, due to the late arrival of the cops due to the holiday and my inability to contact my credit cards earlier, I was on the phone until 4AM. I slept through my alarm – arriving to work just a few minutes late – but when asked why – I didn’t know what else to say but the truth. My supervisor looked at me like I was the biggest liar on Earth – only I was being honest. It was days later he took away my one day a week to work from home; that was the only time I could see my therapist, too – so I had to stop going. This sucked… and my supervisor thought I was crazy and dishonest. He knew also now that I was gay, and that I’d dated a narcissist.

There were several other instances involving late-night phone hacks and other bizarre events that resulted in me arriving late to work; my boss took away my one day to work from home each week; and that was my one time a week to see my therapist which I could no longer go to; it’s not my boss’s fault about my therapy – I can’t blame him for that. But rather than punish me amidst domestic abuse and stalking which he’d been made aware of – he engaged in re-victimization and further punished me, which inadvertently impacted my mental health care dealing with these matters. He’d then immediately schedule my performance evaluations after, so he’d be reviewing my performance right after these major snafus, which honestly seemed to dominate everything else that had happened. I can’t blame him for being upset – but I’d told him I was being stalked by my ex and it was created major problems, and instead of being supportive, he just got madder and madder at me. In each instance I explained exactly what had happened but he seemed to doubt me.

In July of 2017, there was that incident when I’d spoken to the forensics firm by phone who was interested in looking into my phone and home computer issues for free. They asked that I send them an email with all my information, the screen shots, etc… which I spent a good 4 hours working on. My email wouldn’t go through though – instead it bounced back with an error message; I tried from my phone by creating a new email account – same issue, the message bounced back. I tried from a different email account – same issue. I sent messages to the investigator directly and also to the firm’s general Info@ email address, both resulted in error message for me. When I tried the next day from work – that bounced back also, although I didn’t use my FDA outlook, just google on my FDA computer.

ccr.png

ccra2

Because forensics cost a lot of money and it happened even on my work computer at lunch the next day, I thought it might be easy to figure out why this  happened by asking the FDA help desk at work to take a quick look at the error. I thought they’d be able to look at it and know if the error was legitimate or malicious. Days passed – an no explanation was given to me by the FDA help desk. I called to check up, finding out it had been escalated to the highest level there, it was being treated as highly important; nobody ever called me back about it. Several weeks later, I was contacted by a man at work who took my computer away for 2 months; he said they were going to image it and check it out. He finally brought it back, stating that everything looked fine with my work computer but since I didn’t use the FDA outlook email to send the messages returning errors, he couldn’t say for sure if the error was malicious or not.

workemail.png

He said it was consistent with someone blocking it on the recipient’s servers. To me it seemed as if someone had been spying on my phone conversation with the forensics company that first night when I spoke to them. There seemed to be no way I could get any answers despite this involving my devices, despite it involving me looking for answers – answers I should have no issues figuring out; this was an invasion of my privacy and my basic civil rights and liberties. It was odd how this seemed to be kept rather secretive at work; my manager said he wasn’t even aware that they’d taken my computer.

My ability to concentrate, my ability to focus, my ability to do anything outside ruminate on how Brandon Small seemed to have garnished more power than Donald Trump ate away at my every being. I treated him so well, I tolerated his mistreatment, and he’d lied to me the entire time. He was the reason why, I believed, I’d wracked up thousands in debt hiring attorneys to accompany me to meet with this DEA Task Force yet on arrival, we never found out a thing. I began noticing other things, too: like Brandon and I would argue over email, but when I’d go back, his emails would be deleted. He’d say things like, “They sent me to look after you and Luke,” only then – the email would be gone. I spent 2 entire months convinced I’d lost my mind but after a while, the screen shots I’d take couldn’t be refuted: something very sick, sinister and evil was taking place.

It was in August that my sepervisor suggested I take some time off work to deal with my ” personal issues” that he repeatedly said “consumed me” and a day or two after when I went back to him, concurring, asking if I could use leave to establish mental health and legal support, his response was:

I don’t know how I’d implement leave for this.

At some point I referred me to the EAP who was very supportive; but other than that, he made no other recommendations, he never suggested I do anything to deal with the effects of domestic violence and stalking trickling over in the workplace. He repeatedly expressed being upset that I’d shared this matter with others – what was I supposed to do? I was being honest; and this is something beyond confusing, beyond invasive, and a group effort set out to destroy one person.

On several occasions I asked for opportunities to relearn things that were ignored; he now says he did all these things (that were my idea) like “retraining me,” but it was me sitting with 2 others for a few hours on 2 mornings maximum. He helped me follow up on the help desk ticket when I couldn’t get an answer, as well. But my supervisor – honestly – seemed to smile and enjoy being mean” to me, at times I thought he was acting and he knew it, he’d say, “I’m not joking, I’m serious.” But it seemed like he was acting in a lot of what he did and said.

In hindsight I likely shouldn’t have shared the specifics of my situation with anyone at work and just left it at domestic violence and stalking if it needed to be discussed; but my supervisor caught me off guard when I’d arrived late on a few occasions following incidences that were specifically related to the stalking issue. I’m not one to lie, I didn’t know what else to say except for the truth. He acted like I was talking nonsense. So I tried explaining Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic abuse to my supervisor, although he didn’t fully understand me, and I can’t exactly expect someone to understand covert narcissistic abuse – even the victim can’t understand it. But he seemed to suggest I was weak and that someone else can’t gain mental “control” over another unless it’s intentionally given away, which is not true, and slightly offensive to someone whose life has been destroyed by this form of abuse. But I tried educating him by sending him a few articles I thought were extremely well-written and easy to understand. But this didn’t seem to translate into sympathy or suggesting any accommodations or leave, he’d always comment that:

This issue seems to be consuming you.

Or he’d look me straight in the eyes, and say:

I feel bad about the personal experience you’re experiencing at work. But these are not reasons for your work performance to become impaired.

I’m not sure why he felt this was an issue that somehow was not intended to destroy someone’s job, when that’s precisely what it sets out to do.

Groups of people, or, loosely organized people pick a target, and attempt to destroy the victims life in any way that they can. They attempt to scare and terrorize their target, causing anxiety and other problems. They will do whatever they can to get the target fired from their job.

It’s organized, widespread, and growing. Some describe this form of harassment as, “A psychological attack that can completely destroy a persons life, while leaving little or no evidence to incriminate the perpetrators. The goal is to sensitize the target to a stimuli, isolate the target, make them destitute. The secondary goals seem to be to make the target homeless, jobless, give them a breakdown, and the primary goals seems to be to drive the target to suicide.

When my performance was brought into question, he’d ask me why I’d missed doing things, and I’d repeatedly describe it in the same way, I now know what it is: PTSD with disassociative episodes where the brain basically shuts down due to experiencing too much trauma. I reported feeling like I was in a chronic state of fight or flight; I described feeling like I could only focus for short periods of time before having invasive thoughts; I described seeing things with “blinders” on; I described feeling on edge, panicked and having difficulty concentrating. To say domestic abuse (which includes narcissistic abuse) is something to be taken lightly that should be referred to as a “personal issue that should not impact one’s work” is wishful thinking; and I wish that were the case, but it’s not supported by research.

Domestic violence and stalking can be so frightening, invasive, traumatic and paralyzing, that President Obama issued a 2012 memorandum to all federal agencies which explicitly addressed these two particular issues, requesting that all agencies device a formal plan to combat these problems:

Domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking have the potential to affect every Federal workplace across the United States.  It is the policy of the Federal Government to promote the health and safety of its employees by acting to prevent domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking within the workplace and by providing support and assistance to Federal employees whose working lives are affected by such violence. This Guidance for Agency-Specific Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, and Stalking Policies provides agencies with direction to enable them to fulfill the goals identified in the Presidential Memorandum on “Establishing Policies for Addressing Domestic Violence in the Federal Workforce,” which was issued on April 18, 2012.  As the nation’s largest employer, the Federal Government should act as a model in responding to the effects of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking in the workplace. Some agencies have already taken steps to address these issues. By building on these efforts, the Federal Government can further address the effects of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking on its workforce, promoting the health and safety of its employees and improving the quality of its service to the public. 

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior, including acts or threatened acts, that are used by a perpetrator to gain power and control over a current or former spouse, family member, current or former intimate partner, current or former dating partner, or person with whom the perpetrator shares a child in common.  This behavior includes, but is not limited to, physical or sexual violence, emotional and/or psychological intimidation, verbal abuse, stalking, economic control, harassment, threats, physical intimidation, or injury.  Domestic violence can occur in any relationship, regardless of socio-economic status, education level, cultural background, age, gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, or religion.  Domestic violence can occur in heterosexual and same-sex intimate relationships, including marital, cohabiting, or dating relationships that are not dependent on the existence of a sexual relationship.

The Presidential Memorandum outlines agency roles and responsibilities for the development of agency-specific policies to address the effects of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking. 1) Pursuant to section 2(b), within 120 calendar days from the issuance of this Guidance, each agency shall develop or modify, as appropriate, agency-specific policies for addressing the effects of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking on its workforce, consistent with this Guidance.  Each agency shall submit for review and comment to the Director of the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) a draft or modified agency-specific policy. Agency-specific policies should address each of the main components outlined in section 3.0 of this Guidance.

Workplace Flexibilities Various types of workplace flexibilities are available to an employee when the employee and/or the employee’s family member(s) are victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking.  To the greatest extent possible, agencies should work in collaboration with the employee to provide leave and/or other workplace flexibilities to help the employee remain safe and maintain his or her work performance.  All possible leave options should be considered for an employee in this situation.  When the need for time off is foreseeable, an employee must provide reasonable advance notice to the agency.  An agency may choose to develop a policy that would allow an employee who is a victim and/or the employee’s family member(s), as discussed in this section, the opportunity to request leave or other paid time off through a third party, such as an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Coordinator, if the employee does not feel comfortable speaking with a supervisor.  Although the supervisor is the only person who can approve the leave, the leave request may be made through the third party.   Employees are not required to provide personal details in their requests for leave.  However, employees are required to provide enough information in their leave requests so their supervisors know which type of leave is appropriate (e.g., sick leave, annual leave, Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), etc.). Supervisors should consider whether an employee is entitled to a certain type of leave (e.g., FMLA or sick leave) or whether an employee’s request for leave other than under the FMLA should be granted. Details on the administration of leave will be provided by the agency. An agency is not required to ask for verification or proof of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, but it may accept the employee’s credible statement as verification. 

Under no circumstances should the agency require the employee to contact law enforcement or otherwise report the violence as a condition for accessing leave.  To do so could place victims in greater danger.  Below is a list of available workplace flexibilities that should be incorporated into agency-specific policies for addressing domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.   It is important to note that these options can be applied to situations in which the domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking  is currently taking place or to situations in which the trauma related to a past situation involving violence is causing a negative impact in the workplace.   

Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA).

An employee is entitled to up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave under FMLA if domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking results in a serious health condition for the employee that makes the employee unable to perform the essential functions of his or her position.  

Employees who are victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking may inadvertently react in a manner that results in disciplinary action.  For example, an employee may be charged with AWOL for absences arising from domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking.  In such cases, once the supervisor becomes aware of the domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking issues, the victimized employee should be referred to the resources within the agency for support and assistance.  In addition, the impact of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking should be taken into consideration as a mitigating factor in determining the appropriate discipline in cases involving the victim. Agencies should work to make sure that workplace policies do not re-victimize victims to the extent possible…

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/worklife/reference-materials/guidance-for-agency-specific-dvsas-policies.pdf

For some reason, my supervisor didn’t know how to implement leave when I first made him aware of domestic violence and stalking whereas now, reading the above, it should have been very obvious to him what he could do to help me deal with matters before they snowballed into my inability to perform my job duties. But he chose not to mention this. I can’t blame him for not understanding the impact of narcissistic abuse, it’s hard for me to even articulate; but to say it’s a “personal issue” that was “no excuse to impact your work” is a slap in the face given it has nearly destroyed me – and I didn’t consent to it. I loved my ex, I believed him (foolishly), I was transparent, I was forgiving – and he was dead set on using me for sex, narcissistic supply, and having me gang stalked as the ultimate narcissistic smear campaign – there’s no help available through law enforcement, there’s no lawyers willing to touch it, even the ACLU (after taking up one case) won’t attempt to. But I’m stuck being the victim of this and because others don’t understand it, doesn’t mean I have to be silent and let it murder me; in fact – the only choice I have is to be vocal about it.

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It is primarily inflicted by individuals who have either narcissistic personality disorder (NPD, which is characterized by a lack of empathy), or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD, also known as sociopaths or psychopaths), and is associated with the absence of a conscience. Many people who’ve experienced domestic violence will tell you that the emotional and psychological abuse that is characteristic of narcissistic abuse is more painful and lingering than the pain of physical abuse. As a practicing psychotherapist, I know all too well that it’s much harder and takes a lot longer to heal a broken spirit than it is to heal a black eye. It’s challenging enough to try to describe what narcissistic abuse is, but even more challenging to try to spark the concern of people who haven’t experienced it. Some may feel they are too smart or too strong for it to ever happen to them, or impact their life in any way.

A commonly held misconception is that only weak-minded, fragile, co-dependent types are vulnerable to being abused. Sadly, this stereotype only intensifies the danger of the current lack of public awareness, and provides a false sense of protection. The damage caused by narcissistic abuse is not limited to the individual victim. It bleeds into society, and impacts us all. Numerous studies caution us about the correlation between psychological and emotional stress, and its relationship to increased risk of illness and disease. The chronic stress of narcissistic abuse gradually wears our bodies down over time. The prolonged activation of the body’s stress response systems can take its toll, and wreak havoc on our physiology, and overall well-being.  Some of the common illnesses associated with the chronic stress of narcissistic abuse include but are not limited to: heart attack, adrenal fatigue, weight gain or loss, hair loss, insomnia, anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) autoimmune disorders, digestive problems, asthma, migraines, epilepsy, cancer, arthritis, slower wound healing, Type 2 Diabetes, high cholesterol, IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), and increased dependency on alcohol, or other substances. Consequently, many victims wind up missing work due to illness, or are laid off from their jobs because of excessive absences or poor work performance.

At work, at home, my mind became consumed with replaying the events that had happened; my mind wouldn’t stop racing, it couldn’t stop searching for answers, I always felt on edge; I haven’t had a single day of peace since last June, 2017. My work was impacted; I’ll admit my mind was all over the place, I’d have flashbacks, I’d feel like the room around me was becoming dark. I needed to find help, and it wasn’t easy: there were mental health problems, there was legal problems that I could never seem to find adequate help for (break-ins, stolen phones, and a slew of phone-related and cyber stalking issues that nobody was willing to deal with. Eventually I was placed on written reprimand for my worsening performance; I felt like what I was experiencing wasn’t understood by my manager so I reached out to the HR representative, thinking she might be more receptive in understanding that this form of abuse and the associated stalking were things that can derail someone at work; reprimanding me wasn’t going to benefit the situation, letting me use leave to and get care would. I have worked for the federal government for 14 years and I have taken next to no vacations even during my tenure.

work2

When I reached her by phone, I mentioned I had been in a domestically abusive relationship with a narcissist and what was apparent is that she already knew my story, and immediately shot back at me:

Your personal life needs to be kept separate from work.

That’s all she said to me. Then she hung up; there was no caring, no concern, no advice. Just – deal with your domestic abuse as a “personal issue” that shouldn’t impact your overall ability to function in everything – which is what research repeatedly has shown it does. What was going on here? Why was everyone against me? I realize I didn’t have great performance – but the fact that nobody was willing to even hear me out came off as if they were almost planning something against me, as if they’d all gotten together and said:

Let’s all be consistent here. It’s referred to as a ‘personal issue’ and that alone. We leave it at that, and him repeatedly hearing the words ‘personal issue’ will also serve as a desensitizing trigger – so it will make him react even crazier the most its said.

I realize that may seem like a long shot – but now given what I know about organized stalking and how it works, plus knowing that the DEA was communicating with my supervisor unbeknown to me, my side of the story never being shared – makes me believe they were in on this. I know that sounds crazy – but read on and look at the events that happened next. Because with all that’s gone on, I don’t think there’s any other excuse that can be made here.

The employee assistance program counselor was wonderful, but even she didn’t believe my suspicions about Brandon and the stalking; again – I can’t blame her or anyone, if it hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t believe it either. But it’s the honest truth; and if it was not – then I’d be dealing with mental illness to believe this if it weren’t the case, so either way, discriminating against ad punishing me is not legal.

Eventually it was my second Private investigator that November that came back confirming what I had assumed to be the truth:

jb

This was my abusive boyfriend of 2 years – and he’d been able to lie to me the entire time and nobody said a thing. The officers he worked with seemed to know everything yet nobody stepped in, not even when I was suicidal? When I called them, they taunted me about feeling suicidal – what the hell is wrong with people in this world? Why do people enjoy torturing others for sport? That’s how this all came off to be honest, and the more I present, the more you’ll likely agree.

It was December 20 that I decided to call Arlington Co Police Department and ask them to investigate matters with Brandon. I spoke to someone there about my concerns regarding an undercover cop or informant using his professional connections and technology to target me, but I had to go mid-way through the conversation due to work, and asked if I could call them back. A short while later, I received another call from a Lieutenant there who wanted to speak with me. I told her I’d call her back; I asked my supervisor if I could leave a bit early, I’d finished my work, and I was excited that finally police seemed to be willing to speak with me about matters. The next day my supervisor came in on his day off and wasn’t happy for me – he put me on a Performance Improvement Plan instead. He said that the purpose was for me to succeed, that’s why he did it, although it made no sense why he’d done this on his day off right before Christmas, and also when I was amidst having a nervous breakdown. That doesn’t seem like the time for someone to succeed – it seems more like the time for someone to fail honestly.

After he did this, I received a notification on my phone on Grindr; I wasn’t even logged on. I opened the app and looked: the following profile had “tapped” me.

jobs

All I want for Christmas is a job.

This seemed very random, but the more I thought about it, it was disturbing as hell. I then began to notice my personal email box became filled with job vacancy emails, too. This wasn’t a coincidence, I hadn’t subscribed to these job emails.

Several weeks later, the amount of cyber stalking evidence was piling up; it was after I googled the terms “narcissist, fake profiles and stalking” that up came article after article on organized stalking. I had bee speaking with a cyber attorney, as well. After reading about how organized stalking is intended to drive someone crazy and get them fired, I reached out to HR asking if I could meet with her and share my information; I thought then she’d realized I truly needed outside help, and that my failure on the job was directly caused by this. She didn’t say much but then sent out a calendar invite to my supervisor and to 2 union members. I quickly sent her the below, as the point of the meeting was for me to have an opportunity to discuss the seriousness of matters with her.  And by not replying first and scheduling the meeting, that left me with no time to prepare.

work3

Only she completely ignored my message. She did, however, recognize a message that came from the union, and rescheduled my meeting to suit their needs but not mine:

work4

I felt like the world was against me; I’d requested this meeting to fend for my life, to try and prove that something as ridiculous as organized stalking was taking place and had set out to destroy me. But she ignored me. The meeting was scheduled for that upcoming Monday but due to the Federal Government being shut down, the meeting was canceled altogether. The following day, Tuesday, I was walking into work around 9:50 when Craig called my cell phone:

Where are you? You’re gonna be late to your meeting. It’s been on your calendar since the day before.

It was snowing out, I was feeling crappy, and now I was feeling like I had a panic attack. I had never seen any calendar invite for a meeting today – plus I had nothing prepared on me to share with them. This was a disaster…

I showed up at the meeting, and they went around tearing me down in every way possible. Craig made a comment about me believing I was being stalked in the way Edward Snowden mentioned, laughing it off. Despite this being an 8 week performance evaluation plan, at only half way through I was told I’d already failed; I was told that it was in my best interest to go ahead and resign as being fired by the government looks so terrible, that nobody would hire me after that. So far – the things they’d cited as being in my best interest never seemed to be in my best interest; so far the fact that I was being denied my voice, that nobody would even listen to what i had to say, seemed like they were on a mission to terminate me regardless. This seemed to mirror what I’d read about organized stalking so well – and to resign seemed like I was giving in to a horrible smear campaign based on lies behind my back, having numerous instances that were set up to see me fail, and I didn’t think that was fair. Plus if I resigned – would I be blacklisted like the articles all said? This was a concern to me. Then when I went back to my desk I noticed an email HR sent that morning, prior to my required arrival time to work:

work5

There was nothing on my calendar from the day before; she’d sent that out along with the above email that very morning. They went on to hold this meeting without me having had the chance to reply; this was wrong. I spoke with Craig about this, and he said that in his text the day before, he’d mentioned the meeting being this day instead. I’ll acknowledge he said it might be the next day although at the time I was walking into work in the snow and wind, and didn’t see it. But regardless – there was NO EMAIL sent that day or any calendar invite reflecting the meeting to be held that Tuesday instead. There was nothing – only what she sent that morning. Craig even told me she and the HR intern with her had commented on my attire, saying:

Usually when someone’s on a PIP, they pull out their Sunday best. But you looked quite the opposite today, Alex.

I’d not been sleeping, it was freezing out with snow, my entire life was being destroyed before my eyes and I was helpless.  I didn’t expect the meeting, I’d dressed to accommodate the weather, and I felt that comments was rude. Craig again stressed how it was in my best interest to go ahead and resign – but I felt this wasn’t fair at all. I hadn’t even gotten to speak or share my story. Craig would later tell me things like:

Do you think this is fun for me? It’s not. In my 3 years here I’ve never had to put so much work into someone like you.

It was like he wanted to belittle me and make me feel as small as possible. This made no sense to me at all.

The EAP counselor was very upset; she called Craig directly and told him I needed to be granted leave to deal with these serious matters. Craig called me and said he didn’t want to grant me leave without a plan in place – that he didn’t want me laying around my condo. I didn’t realize I needed to share with him any personal plans; I found the remark about lying around my condo to be insensitive. I also found it to be rather disturbing given another “friend” of mine who was an informant and was aware of what they were doing to me had just said the same thing:

You need to stop lying around your condo all the time.

I could easily be connecting dots here, but the words were just so similar it made me fear that someone – honestly – had been spying on me at home, because how my boss would have known I’d been depressed and lying around at home a lot was beyond me.

I later brought this up in an email and Craig’s response to that is below:

work6

In the above my supervisor says he didn’t feel it was in my best interest to lie around at home, ruminating on my fears of being stalked and spied upon. Only he thought it was in my best interest to have me terminated – how does that make sense? How is that in my best interest? He seemed to be pulling a Brandon move: his response suggested he cared about me AND made me look totally crazy at the same time. I can at least laugh at this despite it being horrible – but I can laugh. Nobody else can seem to cut me any slack and I feel like I’m cutting everyone slack, when I’m being screwed over in a vicious smear campaign being waged against me by my abusive ex, a narcissist.

Ultimately in February, when meeting with my supervisor, he again cited all the things he’d done to help me out, asking:

What else could I have done to help you?

I told him if I’d been granted leave 9 months prior to deal with these matters, it would have never risen to this level of poor performance. He suggested I speak with a doctor and ultimately I was granted FMLA. I came back to work and he commented on how well I appeared, saying I looked like a new man; he said he wanted to meet with me at 1:30PM. I’d been so nervous returning to work, I haven’t honestly had one single day of peace since last June; I knew I’d already been told I was being formally terminated but I’d hoped that they’d consider giving me a chance to show I could do this job now that I’d had time off, I was receiving regular therapy for PTSD; only at 1:30 he said he’d long requested my termination packet to arrive and told me it was in my best interest to resign. He also told me how horribly I’d left things for my co-workers to clean up. I’d been the one prior to me using FMLA that told Craig I needed time to get things ready to hand off – he was angry, saying I needed to hand over the FMLA paperwork immediately. I did and was told I needed to finish up and go home and stay on leave going forward. Craig even sent me an email specifically stating I was not to touch my computer while on FMLA or face punishment as a result. There was no winning with anyone here. Again, he told me it was in my best interest to resign; only everything he’d shown me so far was that he wasn’t acting in my best interests at all. So I went back and sat at my desk for the next 6 weeks – all when I could have been proving myself – but instead all my work was taken away from me and I had nothing to do.

In regards to my pending termination, I sent Ariane an email, asking about the timeline, asking at what point I could still just resign and have it not be reflected on my SF-50; I also cited the the Obama memorandum about domestic violence and stalking, asking if the FDA had a formal policy on dealing with employees that were victims of domestic violence and stalking. She ignored me. I sent that email a second time; she just ignored me altogether again.

work7

agot9agot10

agot12agot13

No response was given except Craig stating he felt it was in my best interest for me not to be lying around my condo in fear; but he fails to say he thought it was best that I lose my health insurance and job amidst enduring this organized stalking nightmare.work8I tried asking about the timeline for my removal, but I got nothing concrete back; finally my official letter arrived on June 6. I thought I’d still have the time to resign and not have it impact my SF-50 but clearly I was wrong. I spoke with the union – they said they’d speak to HR. HR told me it was outside of her control, my supervisor said it was outside of his; the union said my supervisor is dead set on getting me out and having me removed with the worst record possible. They said that there was nothing they could do.

On 6/13, I asked my supervisor if someone outside the FDA had contacted him regarding me; he said no, although when I showed him a text I’d recently gotten from a DEA Agent, he looked closely at it in my phone. I mentioned how it was odd that the day after I called the police on December 20, he’d come in and put me on the PIP, mentioning it seemed like there was some association between my issues with Brandon and my job, to which he replied:

Alex, you’re being terminated due to your work performance. I’d long been in the words prior to that day with HR and attorney to have you removed.

I appreciate him finally being honest: but basically his admission revealed that everything else he’d told me was a lie. He didn’t put me on the PIP to see me succeed he’d claimed; he didn’t deny my requests for leave because he was concerned for my mental health, laying around my condo all week ruminating on being stalked. He denied my requests for leave because he wanted me out and I believe he’s playing a role in this organized stalking nightmare to be honest; I don’t see how he could not be playing one based on all that’s happened and based on what I’ve since found out. He did not have my best interests in mind: the man wanted me terminated and went on to block all my requests to use leave until after he’d secured my termination. I don’t know what he had against me – I’m not sure if he’s homophobic and when I told him my ex-boyfriend was a narcissist and was stalking me, if that set him off; I can’t prove anything about his feelings towards me. But my gut instinct says – at least based on the organized stalking articles I’ve read claiming that it’s behind everything, including your job – that this job was actually a set up from the start, that’s why my “packet” disappeared after initially being offered the job, that’s why my initial requests for help went unanswered, that’s why I was placed on the PIP the day after reaching out to police – that’s how this all appears, and that’s not me connecting dots that don’t exist – that’s me looking at things logically within the context or organized stalking. All I can prove is that he repeatedly denied me leave when he should have known immediately, like he did in the end, how to implement FMLA; he’s repeatedly singled me out and treated me poorly, he’s repeatedly set me up to fail in numerous instances, and I didn’t have a chance at succeeding the PIP or anything – I had no chance of speaking and sharing my story at the meeting with HR – I had no chance at anything it seems. He’s repeatedly lied to me, he’s likely lied to others, and when he told me he’d never spoken to anyone outside the FDA – which HR also said was totally against their policies – only I soon found out she was lying when she said that, as well.

After reaching out to the DOJ and police repeatedly without even a response, I get a random text from Kendrah who supposedly is a DEA agent just recently. Note in the above as soon as I mention Brandon’s narcissistic smear campaign against me – she immediately cuts me off, saying not to put that in writing. Strange…

I met with Kendrah and another gentleman who pounced on me, inferring that I had a drug problem and that what I was experiencing in believing I was being gang stalked was all a delusion in my mind. Strange…. I’m not sure why they think I have a drug problem given I’ve never met them before; outside of the narcissist, nobody’s even been in my life for the last year. They also asked me to stop reaching out to other agencies about this issue with Brandon – I found that odd; if this wasn’t related to Brandon waging a smear campaign on me via organized stalking – why would they care? Wouldn’t it just make me appear all the more delusional if what I said carried no weight? Wouldn’t they want me to appear that way in front of others? They were insistent on repeatedly saying I’m delusional and have some drug problem – but they’re not being truthful with anything. I’d wager the only one being truthful with anyone is me. I mentioned how Brandon hacking into my phone and the stalking I “perceived” had caused me to lose my mind and my job and to my surprise, Kendrah shot back:

Your performance is why you’re being terminated. I’ve been speaking with your boss; he’s a very kind and sympathetic man. And uour performance there is poor. Plus I think you’re doing drugs – as as a federal employee, I don’t think you should work there. I told him you did drugs.

Funny that I have no clue what led her to that, other than my ex is a narcissist that repeatedly tried pushing drugs on me, but I declined. If a narcissist is the provider of misinformation on my character – then right there says a lot. Moreover, why did my performance get thrown off so terribly? Didn’t it all coincide strangely with the return of narcissist Brandon into my life? Didn’t my life take a major nose dive right after discovering Brandon hacking into my phone, and blaming it on the DEA Task Force? So while I won’t deny my performance was not stellar and worsened – that seems to have been the plan. I’ve never heard of the DEA calling someone who’s not even a criminal to ask that they be fired. This is beyond weird – and rather telling in regards to my “delusion” of organized stalking.

But what hurt me more than anything – was here I’d been begging my supervisor to tell me if someone outside of the FDA had contacted him, because this seemed to mirror organized stalking to a tee. Yet he and HR acted like I was crazy to suggest that. Only come to find out – I was correct.

If others wants to say my performance was poor, look at what I’ve been up against. The fact that I’m the first person out there who has been gang stalked and actually can identify the perpetrators, and is acting with all his life to put it to an end real-time – that is a testament to my strength and performance. Yes, my performance at work was derailed by me performing to save my life – that’s what this is. It’s a battle for my life and nobody wants to recognize it; saying it’s a “personal issue” is a slap in the face. Saying it should not impact my work is delusional. Look at how attorneys and investigators respond to my dilemma, it’s not something they suggest is a breeze, in fact they equate it to having a stroke – so to suggest I didn’t deal with “personal matters” properly an attempt to deny playing any role in this nightmare.

ni

My voice, my side of the story was never heard; I was never offered to take a drug test. Instead what was supported and believed were the words of Kendrah – who went on to say she wants to help me with treatment, and insisted I come to an FDA doctor to be assessed. Only I think not – so far she’s done nothing to help me. She told my boss a series of lies to get me fired all the while denying the truth: they supported my ex-boyfriend, a narcissist, in waging a vicious smear campaign against me using organized stalking. So now I’m set to lose my job, my health insurance, and my everything; and it’s all been based on lies, gossip and people I don’t know speaking out about me. How is this fair? How is this legal? It seems to be neither. It seems to be organized stalking:

Organized Gang Stalking involves groups of people, or, loosely organized, who people pick a target, and attempt to destroy the victims life in any way that they can. They attempt to scare and terrorise their target, causing anxiety and other problems. They will do whatever they can to get the target fired from their job.

gl2.jpg